Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
