Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize