Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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