it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Panties = found
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
