stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
