i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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