9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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