yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
