my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
