I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
