you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
