Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
