don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
