What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
