Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
