I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
