I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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