You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
