I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
