That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
