all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
