My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
