Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
