but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize