oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
