remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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