How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
