I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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