I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
