she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
