Will you blow on my dice?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My vagina just recognized that song.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
