Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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