I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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