My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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