my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
