maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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