She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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