he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
where are my eyebrows?
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