You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
