if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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