Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
