we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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