Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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