I feel like abortions should bother me more
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
