Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
