Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
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"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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