Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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