I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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