and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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