you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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