You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
