He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
