We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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