I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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