Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
