Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
