You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
