dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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