Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
