I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
