dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
