Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
