I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
