She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
