A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
