how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
