a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
