He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
birth control should be required to get into college
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
